Big Ups

I just gotta give mad props to The Kruegs -- banana peppers and pineapple is a great pizza combination!

(ups? props?)

A Moment (Maybe Two)

This evening, I was driving home from Boston, falling asleep. I decided to stop in Portsmouth, New Hampshire to get some coffee. I drove down the main street, and noticed an abundance of people milling around. Intrigues, I decided to hang around -- they were all waiting for a parade to start. So I waited with them, for what must have been at least half an hour. I started to think that the entire parade was just a rumor and a bunch of people following the herd. But eventually a bunch of people in costumes walked by, and a band, and maybe even a float (it could have just been a float costume!). It was great!

Then I was in a traffic jam for 45 minutes and saw one of the most horrific accident scenes ever: it really must not be pleasant when a van full of bricks crashes into the guardrail.

Happy Pumpkin Day

Speechless, not beefless

Really? I've never seen a product as amazing and baffling as this. I think I'll wait for the BJW-2, though... the beef jerky rumor mill says it's going to have some impressive new features.

If you really want more information, click here.

Who Do They Think They're Fooling?

Let's take a look at this toothbrush:



Now, this toothbrush, or one just like it, has been available for, at a bare minimum, 12 years. It's had at least a dozen names, it's been owned by at least three companies, and it clearly hasn't changed in all that time. The only innovation has been in the nomenclature. Are there people who have bought the version from, say, 8 years ago, who buy the new one and say, "Goll-ee! What a great new invention?" No.

It's a hate-hate relationship

Look, deodorant, I don't like you and you don't like me. Wait, I like you. But only when you work. Which is few and far between these days. Luckily it's winter.

Playing too much SSX3 leads to

Annoying dreams about snowboarding.

Also, whenever I'm driving and I'm about to go over a little hill, I've planned out what tricks I'm going to do on the other side.

Moral Dilemma, Resolved

This morning, just now, I did something I wouldn't have done even a few months ago: I turned down work. It was an incredibly convoluted and off-track project where I'd just be batting cleanup, and would take all of the blame when things went wrong, and also be under really tight time pressures. So I said no. It makes me feel pretty good, even though I could have used the money, I guess. I have enough money.

The Amazing Metabolismo!

Why do I feel like I'm getting fatter and skinnier at the same time?

YANKEES SUCK!

I'm just so happy to see the Yankees lose! Also, I could see Josh Beckett, the 23-year-old Marlins pitcher, in a Red Sox uniform...

It just has to be an amazing feeling to be the pitcher, and not only pitch a shut-out, but to get the final out by tagging the runner out all by yourself...

PUMPKINS!

I just got back from the Portland Pumpkin Party (as I think it should be called). It was the largest gathering of pumpkins in one place... take that, Nashua, NH! We kicked your ass!


Overheard: "Come on down here! They've got a shitload of fuckin' pumpkins!"

Aww

I think a nice thing is putting on your winter coat for the first time every year. It's fun to see what was left in the pockets from the extreme other end of the season.

It's especially nice when you're headed to the Portland Pumpkin Festival!

Is It Folksy, Lazy, Or Dumb?

I've been thinking about the style that I tend to write in here; I really enjoy it and feel that it is appropriate -- I think of it as, for the most part, blurting stuff out, or being 'direct'. But I wonder if there are those who would think it lazy, or half-hearted, or something. If I tried, I could put things in the proper tense, avoid using words like "stuff", rearrange things into paragraphs. I'm as smart as the next guy, and I don't need to justify myself to anyone. If sixteen years of alternative schooling have taught me nothing else, it's that individuality is the awesomest. Even if it's not any of the commonly accepted forms. I've got your judgment right here, pal!

P.S. The always amusing blogger spell-checker (yes, I spell-check; I'm not some country bumpkin here!) suggested, as a replacement for "awesomest"... "agnostics".

P.P.S. I'm disappointed that no new avocadoes sprouted while I was away -- I have a theory that one of them will soon. But I have a competing theory that the soil has become infested with bugs and nothing will ever grow. However, I learned a new technique for starting them from Emily, Anna's sister -- soak the pit in water until the outer coating cracks; I'm going to try that soon. I assume, actually, that after soaking it you have to dry it out so that the cracquelere [sic] wll occur.

Sometimes it's uncanny

I was just looking for more movies to add to my netflix queue, and on the page for Gimme Shelter (cinema verite documentary about the Rolling Stones) Netflix had recommended Dont Look Back, Sullivan's Travels, a Buster Keaton movie, and Mr. Show. Can I hang out with these people who have my exact taste in movies?

Bombs Over Pasadena

When I was in LA, Mollie Engelhart, who runs a recording studio, had been invited to a party sponsored by Vibe Magazine. She thought it would be fun, and started the process of trying to get all of us (me, Melissa, Colin, Trevor, Rafe, Jonah) on the guest list. I had some trepidation, but, hey, when in LA...

So, we go shopping for some fancy clothes, because, heavens no, you can't wear jeans to a Vibe Magazine party! What would the world think? While shopping (by the way, the best store in the world is Ross Dress For Less -- a TJ MAXX with great clothes!) we found out that there would be some special guests at the party, guests we were all very familiar with: Andre 3000 and Big Boi, of Outkast! This upped the ante on our clothes-shopping, especially since we had been obsessively listening to The Love Below for the past few days!

Well, Outkast's presence meant that white folk who were at the very bottom of the guest list didn't get to go. Which, really, came as a relief to me, but it would have been cool to go to anyway.

America's Love Story?

Ed And Carol? Really?

Lola!

I've Got A Great Halloween Costume Idea!

Jack White of The White Stripes! Now all I need is a Meg! I think I have almost enough red white and black to pull it off, too.

On a related note:

So Much To Write About, So Little Internet...

California is another region that hasn't yet consistently discovered the internet. Which is probably for the best -- I feel like when I have the opportunity to physically be near my friends, I should probably do it, rather than typety-type-type into this weblog of awesomeness.

Anyway, I just (as in, half an hour ago) got back from being in California for the past ten days. The first half or so I was in LA, visiting Melissa, Trevor, etc. It was all right, but I felt like everything I said was a beat and a half late. A lot of "Me too!" and "I like that movie as well"s. Then I drove up to San Fran Ceezy (ugh; just call it by its name!) and had a GREAT time with Anna and her sister. I was funny, they were funny, we had a great time, I now have a crush on a girl (named Melissa, confusingly enough) who just got out of a four-year relationship (just, as in, I helped to move her stuff out of her ex-boyfriend's apartment).

I think my next move will be to Berkeley (the town, not the graduate school). There was so much going on there that seemed like it was exactly what I want to be doing -- drinking, talking about documentaries, drinking, quiz night at a bar, beautiful geography, etc. And I feel like Anna and I are good influences on each-other.

Anna and her sister Emily have a tiny dog, and here's the thing: I definitely hate tiny dogs in principle, but in reality, each tiny dog I interact with is really not so bad.

I'll write more about California tomorrow (including pictures of tiny dogs), but now I have to install iTunes on my PC!

I Need a Haircut

So, here I am in LA. Very self-conscious, but having a good amount of fun when I can stop thinking about myself so much. Today we went to Mollie [sic] Engelhart's house (which she OWNS) and watched a terrible movie ("Boondock Saints"). We also went to the beach today -- that was a lot of fun! Threw a frisbee around and got knocked around by some mammoth waves!

Horrible Thoughts

I was just about to buy a 'Cowboy Up' shirt, when I had a practical, yet horrible, thought: "I'll just wait a couple of days, and the price will go down...." Is this what it means to be a Red Sox fan?

Yo Quiero Cowboy Up

King Of Rock

Seriously, go see "School Of Rock". It's as awesome as you'd think it would be. Maybe more. Keep an eye out for Amy Sedaris -- she's in there somewhere. Also, Sara Silverman really knows how to pick a stereotype, er, role.

That's Your Cheer?

Do yankees fans really chant "Yankees Yankees"? They're stupider than I thought, if so.

Rodent And Insect Mania!

And people said I wouldn't have a lot of visitors up here in Maine! In the past two days I've been visited by one inquisitive squirrel (who I politely showed the door, after debating keeping him as a pet) and by one incredibly creepy millipede (who I crushed with my shoe, after being incredibly creeped out).

Mouse Mania!

Blah blah blog

For the past few days I've really just wanted to stay in my house and read my book... not even write back to the girls that flirt with me on friendster. I don't think there's anything wrong with that; I fervently believe that the tide will turn and I'll be less enervated in the future.

Huh huh huh, I said 'enervated'.

Here are some words that blogger's spell-checker doesn't think are real words: blah; blog; friendster.

What an idiot.

Poet-in-chief

Does my great-grandmother work at the convenience store?

Going through the wadded-up money in my pocket, I noticed that at some point in the last few days, I ended up with a $2 bill! That really brought back a string of memories -- the most prevalent being the time when, at about age 8, I had to pay back a babysitter for destroying some expensive balloons. The only money I had was my collection of $2 bills (possibly also some 50-cent pieces). I was so sad. But I learned my lesson -- I'll never pop my sisters' mylar balloons on a rose bush again!

Matt Bargar, Baseball Psychic

Here are my predictions:
Red Sox win game 3.
Red Sox win game 4.
Heartbreaking loss. Jerry Remy takes his own life.

Well, let's hope I'm partially right, anyway.

I'm No Journalist, But...

There's something wrong with this headline, right? Lance Tapley, do you have alot of learning disabilities?

Oh, Ed. So Dumb. And So Wise.

why is it that you think the laws of the universe don't apply to you?

because they don't

Matt Bargar's Weight-Loss Tips

Step 1: Become a multimedia developer
Step 2: Work 12 hours a day for days on end
Step 3: Watch the pounds melt away!