Maybe I'll Start Posting Again Tomorrow

More likely, Wednesday, when my internet returns. Then I'll regale you all with tales of moving, tales of unpacking, tales of cardboard boxes. I know you can't wait. It's always a thrill-a-minute around here.

I Should Be Packingand Eating, But...

Play this game! It's like eos2000 (er, Breakout) but in a circle, with a drain in the middle. It's clever, even if the control is kind of tricky!

Why, Matt, Why?

Why do I have a piece of paper from September 8, 1995 with instructions on "How to Set up [sic] an IBM for the Internet Using Ethernet"? And more importantly, why oh why do I feel some urge to save it?

Funny Hampshire Note: it was written by Wil Doane, who would later go on to fame and fortune as the butt of our jokes.

Defrost DeUpdate

So I successfully defrosted the freezer. On Megan's advice I put towels down in the fridge to absorb the water. I also broke off all the big chunks of ice I could and put them in the sink. That phase worked perfectly. The only problem was that the towels were soaking wet, and I cleverly hung them right up. Then they dripped all over the floor. Hey, what do I care, I'm moving out tomorrow!

Experiments in Domesticity, Part One

I just started to defrost my tiny freezer, which has accumulated quite a lot of ice over the past nine months. Quite a lot. I can't see my ice cube trays, even though, to be fair, they are tiny. So, we'll see. I put some towels down under everything, but I have no idea how much water there will be, and where it might go. I do remember that ice as a solid takes up more space than it would as a liquid, which is a plus in this case. Maybe I'll be the cause of the flooding at the restaurant under Lauren's apartment this time!

It Boggle Da Mind

(as I think Cookie Monster said at some point)

Anyway, this little puzzle... I figured it out (I think), so email me if you want to know, or at least hear my theories.

If Horoscopes Were Accurate

Leo: Today you will buy couches and scrape your fingers repeatedly.

Helpful, But...

Someone I used to work with in Boston (at Cognisnore) continually sends me job postings that he gets since he's on some mailing list. The problems are that a) I'm plenty employed, b) the jobs are mostly full-time jobs, in Boston, where I don't live. So I appreciate the thought, I really do, but sometimes I just get the urge to reply and just say "unsubscribe", like you used to be able to get off of mailing lists etc.

Our Awesome President

He can't even pronounce "Abu Ghraib". Did this never come up before?

Check it out!

At Liz's Hammy, I'm King O' The Comments! Lo-Diggity is the Queen! It's good to be weblog royalty... a blueblog, if you will.

AWKWARD

I was just at Subway, and the customer in front of me asked his Sandwich Artist if she and my Sandwich Artist were family. Yes, they were both of African descent, but no, they were not related. They laughed and one asked the other, "Do you think we look anything alike?" (I didn't, but I really didn't want to end up in any part of this conversation.)

Ah, the Supermarket

Conversation One:
I'm coming into the supermarket, and a middle-aged woman is coming out.
She (holding a smoothie):"Do you put frozen yogurt on there?"
Me (utterly confused, thinking perhaps she's conducting a survey): "Uh, on your smoothie?"
She: "No, someone left some frozen yogurt on the garbage can, and judging by the look on your face, I thought it might have been you."
Me: "Nope."

Conversation Two, Five Seconds Later
Middle aged man, who somehow has two baskets wedged together: "How do you operate these new-fangled baskets?" (paraphrasing)
Me: "Um, well, these plastic handles appear as if by magic and then you just pull them up."
Old man: "Okay, thanks. I have now truly entered the 20th century. One down, one to go."

Lessons Learned:
1. I look sad and/or confused.
2. However, not so sad and/or confused that a stranger can't approach me and ask how everyday items function.

I'm never going back there again, not even for organic beer.

Matt Bargar, Trend-Setter Extraordinaire!

Today for lunch I went to the burrito cart downtown (a cart which is a new and very welcome addition to the 25 hotdog carts we already have!) There was nobody in line and Bernie, of Bernie's Burritos, was practically asleep. But soon after I showed up a line started forming! I had the black beans and rice, but I think next time I'm gonna try the pulled pork.

!!! Cute !!! (Imagine a huge drop of sweat on my forehead, too)

Japanese Kids' Lunches!

I think this beats Lunchables.

Are You Serious?

I just bought some "Narbles"... I'll be blogging live as I eat one... I give the packaging a D-, the box is very difficult to open and there is inexplicably a plastic bag inside the box... okay, they're pretty disgusting. They look like jelly beans but they taste exactly like some other kind of candy that I can't recall.

My original idea for a blog was to call it "Foreign Candy". Even though Narbles are for a domestic audience, I still think it would be a good name/idea.

Totally Awesome:

Falling asleep while water boils on the stove. Good thing I take short naps!

Wow, that looks terrible

There's a King Arthur movie? It's gonna suuuuuuuuuck. Although I think King Arthur is played by the guy who was in all of those BMW movie-style ads.

Wow!

So that was a badly-timed episode of The Simpsons, huh? Prison and torture jokes don't seem like the funniest stuff right now. Not like usual.

Well, I'm in Luck Then

I think I really love the smell of wet cardboard.

The Days Are Just Packed

(Or, Adventures in Moving, Part One)

This morning I was woken up early by my new landlord and decided to stay up and do some work. Then I picked up a U-Haul van and got started moving. Jane and Lauren helped me to load up the van with some of the large things from the old apartment. We unloaded them at the new place. The plan at this point was to pick up the couch from Hip House (RIP, BTW) and move it into the new apartment. However, some shrewd measuring revealed that the couch wouldn't fit. This was discovered at the foot of the stairs, luckily, before we moved it up two flights. By this time the clock was running out on my U-Haul van (it was about to turn back into a pumpkin, er, Volvo, er, forget it), and I panicked. I had to make a decision about what to do: just try to force the couch through the door, saw the legs off of the couch, give up and bring the couch back to Hip House. I decided (eventually) to return the couch. Luckily, Noah was surprisingly in town, and helped with this phase of things, making a profit off of his (my?) couch in the process.

Then Jane and I chilled at the new place, discussed the potential layout, and made plans to visit IKEA. Following, we had dinner with Lauren et al, and then took in a fine film by the name of Mean Girls. Now I'm doing some more work and that will be that. I know I should be watching SNL but I'm tired and it's hot here.

I Know It's Wrong and Not Funny

I just can't help it: every time Jerry Remy et al say the words 'pitches' (as in 'Derek Lowe has thrown 85 pitches'), I just want to say 'beeetches', like Triumph would say it. I know it's not amusing to anyone but me, but I just can't help it. '102 beeetches, a season high!' Ahahahahaha.

Did You Know:

Craig Kilborn's favorite REM song... Radio Free Europe.

For some reason I might have thought it would have been something newer.

OO = BS

My boss and I seem to have a difference of opinion on how to write code. I prefer to write in a usable, readable, quick, extensible way. So does he, except that he writes it in a totally overblown, overkill, slow, backwards, pointless, confusing way.

Interesting, If True

I just learned that Rocky Road ice cream gets its name from the rocky road that America faced during the Depression; allegedly it was invented in the midst of the Big D and for some reason whoever named it wanted to commemorate poverty and joblessness. Weird, huh?

Why Am I Awake?

Anybody?

Not All Questions Apply to Me. I Question the Result.

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear. What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Help!

Do you have the program "Microsoft Home Publishing 2000"? Can you convert a document for me to something that normal people use? Please email me if you do! Thanks!

i can post by email now?

how's this going to work?

I'm sorry?

The Cleveland Indians have a player named... Coco Crisp?

Call me when Count Chocula is a Yankee... I'm sure it won't be long.

Maybe the funniest thing ever

On the commentary track for The Royal Tenenbaums, Wes Anderson is talking about a line of Owen Wilson's. He says something like, "Owen adlibbed this line, and I liked it. Then I saw Behind Enemy Lines and he had adlibbed the same line in that."

My new addiction seems to be commentary tracks: after listening to (and falling asleep during) the Lord Of The Rings commentary tracks, I've been working my way through my back catalog and listening to these tracks. Some of them are pretty lame, but overall I've been enjoying them.

Crummy

My boss... great guy, super-smart, I could learn a lot from him when it comes to developing multimedia. Not so hot in the communicating department. It just makes me go crazy when I can see that he's online, but he never responds to my instant messaging queries to him, or apologizes for it later. I feel like I need to confront him about it but it never does any good. As a result of this frustration, I feel lame tonight. And as a result of that, I'm ordering pizza online!

Oooh!

Blogger is upgraded... and it is weird and somewhat pretty looking.

Overheard

Middle-aged woman, talking to her friend and pointing at a Mini Cooper: "That's an electric car!"

It Happens Every Time

Every time I have to move, it seems like I end up buying a new roll of packing tape. Yet while I am living somewhere I always see rolls and rolls of tape, everywhere, coming out of every drawer. But when it comes time to actually use that tape, it's disappeared, and I need to buy a new roll.

To be fair, I did just finish a roll that I think dates from 1995. A lot of my boxes also come from '95, although many of them seem to be much more mildewed than they were 9 months ago. If only I knew a way to get some nice new boxes... Maybe DeLorme can help me out!

It's a Cinco De Mayo Miracle (Un Dia Tarde)

Over a really brief period of time, like a few hours, my hand has basically healed. There's almost no pain when I touch it and a great amount of the pus (there, I said it) has vanished, subsumed into the body. Now is the time when I should start thinking about how to heal the rest of the way. What this means if anyone is still reading is that, soon, I promise, it will be the end of gross personal posts (until the next crisis).

I'm The Burger

I Know You Can Read My Thoughts, Boy

The new iTunes 'Party Shuffle' mode: not just for a party. I've been letting iTunes pick the songs all day today, and it's picked some real winners from my collection, that I hadn't thought about in a while but enjoyed hearing nonetheless. But what I want to know about it is: is it super-smart, matching the BPMs and whatnot, or is just just 100% random? I feel like there's some intelligence going on in the choosing process, but maybe not.

Great idea!

Ralph Nader: not the worst idea ever, anymore?

Hand Still Disgusting. No New News.

Although I think I found the apartment I want. That is pretty exciting; it has an (obstructed) water view, a little deck, etc. Not as nice as where I live now, but eventually lovable.

The other day Jane and I played skee-ball; she got some cool bracelets with her tickets. I got the most hilarious candy ever: a Kit-Kat ripoff named 'Wafer Jet' (I thought it was 'Water Jet' at the time but that would make no sense). It was gross and carob-y.

I'm Healthy 99.9% Of The Time, So I Make A Big Production When I'm Not

This morning when I woke up, my left hand had a bunch of really gross, pus-filled blisters. So, on the advice of my mother the nurse, I went to the urgent care facility to see what it was. Nobody really knew, but I did gross out the nurses, which was cool. The doctor eventually sort of decided it might be contact dermatitis, but I don't think I've contacted anything that bad. He wasn't sure either (thought it could be some kind of staph infection as a result of my other illnesses) so I'm also on antibiotics. I might have never been on antibiotics as an adult... do they still taste like bubble gum?

Also my left hand just hurts like a biaitch, and I can't 'type' with it at all. Also can't play the piano with it, as the old 'joke' goes.

Maybe It's Time to Start Picking Out An Urn

Maladies, diseases, or afflications that I have today:
* Mysteriously sunburned hand
* So sunburned that it has blistered in a gross way
* My right Gastrocnemii muscles cramped up so badly last night in my sleep that I can still feel it, and I'm kind of afraid to go to sleep tonight
* Still sick in a way that makes me worry I'll be complaining about it for weeks and weeks (you, dear reader, should worry too!)
* Need a haircut

I hate those ESPN commentators

They're dumb. I miss the Rem-dawg.

Because You All Care

My flu has definitely passed on. After a short night of tossing and turning, I woke up feeling great: hungry, with a residual headache, but overall, great. Hurray!

Good Times

Okay, this might make me come across as kind of a jerk, but I've decided I don't want to go to any more events where people are subconsciously competing on who can buy the cheapest booze. "Ooh, Crazy Horse is only $1.99 for a 40 oz." "Oh yeah? Well, did you see my Miller High Life... IN A CAN!" God damn it.

I did have fun with Lauren 2.0, Megan and Chris celebrating Megan's b-day! A fine meal was had at Mesa Verde (sans sizzle in the fajitas) and fun times followed at the quietest bar in the Old Port, "The Ale House" (actual name). Amigo's was also fun except for rude strangers. The End.

Huh?

A book? About blogs? That's CRAZY! And it seems like making a buck off of something that wasn't meant to be made a buck off of, if that could possibly be a sentence.

Weirdest. Movie. Ever.

Teddy Bears' Picnic makes no sense. I think parts of it are funny, but it's just so weird it's hard to tell. If you like seeing the cast of Christopher Guest movies doing a non-improvised movie about rich people, maybe it's for you.