Turns Out

I think my mind was reprogrammed to forget ever seeing the original Manchurian Candidate, but it's slowly coming back as I see more and more ads for the remake. Denzel Washington, you're no Angela Lansbury!

Caught Cold Indeed.

I was walking down the street, innocently drinking my iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts, when some people accosted me and told me that I was being rewarded for drinking an iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I got some goofy prizes (although tickets to the Sea Dogs could be fun!) and went on about my business.

Then, a few minutes later, I was caught cold: a girl asked me to sign a petition, and as I was signing it she said, "Aren't you on Friendster?" Oh crap. I'm completely altering my appearance so that that will never happen again.

Another post to file under "I'm never leaving the house!"

My New Love

Okay, it's time to come clean: I love turkey! I just started eating it a few months ago, and it is very delicious! A bakery here ("Big Sky") makes a turkey and smoked mozzarella sandwich that just makes me happy.

Meet the new savior (Same as the old savior)

Tonight is apparently Spectacular Democratic Failure night at the convention, at least on CNN's coverage. I've seen a few pieces about Dukakis, and the name McGovern keeps coming up. It's actually pretty depressing.

Uh Oh

I just thought of the perfect name for an iPod. Does that mean I have to get one, possibly as a birthday present for myself?

Unclear on the Concept

I just saw this bumper sticker: "If I die and can't go to Heaven, send me to Long Island, Maine"

So, assuming you believe in the concept of heaven and hell, and assuming that, for whatever reason, you can't get in to Heaven, where would that leave you?

(All proper royalties and attributions for the title of this post have been mentally paid and attributed.)

Now THAT Was a Nap!

Sometimes I feel like a good 15-minute nap can cure all my problems! I love when I wake up and I didn't remember falling asleep at all.

Still the Funniest Joke of All Time

I just happened to flip by 'Happy Gilmore' just as the funniest thing in the world happens. I would describe it but that won't make it seem hilarious; take my word for it, nothing is as funny as what I just saw.

A Happy Place, the Supermarket

Adjacent license plates in the parking lot:
FOR JOY
GRINNIN

As if they weren't smug enough, one of them was on a Prius and the other one was on a Mini Cooper.

Come ON

Our pal, GW Bush: "Four more years and America will be safe and the world will be at peace."

What's For Lunch?

Seriously, what am I going to eat?

What time is it?

Scan a clock! Scan o'clock?

(I wish it had a sweep second hand...)

Okay.

Who else saw that episode of 6 Feet Under? Can we talk about it?

I Wish

I always want Curt Shilling's name to be a nickname for a much longer, more embellished name: Curtley Shillingsworth, for example.

Communication?

Me: I'd like a grande latte.
Male Barista, Complete Stranger to Me: Did you hear about that camp?
Me: Uh, what?
MBCStM: There's a camp for gifted and talented kids. It sounds really cool.
Me: Yeah. Yeah, I guess it does.

If Only!

If I were a cashier in a supermarket, I would try to make a narrative out of a customer's items. For example, take the guy in front of me tonight: bottle of rum; bottle of Coke; pack of gum (impulse buy). This story is pretty easy. But take me: three peaches; ice pack. A little harder, maybe?

Duh.

Um, Blogger is only posting the titles, not the bodies of these posts. Awesome, huh?

100%

Stop What You're Doing

Da Noive!

At one of the coffee establishments that I frequent, they have this amazing, innovative program where if you purchase nine drinks, your tenth is -- get this! -- absolutely free! Well, Maine being Maine, the trusting thing to do is to keep your card on the counter, in a Coffee RoloDex of sorts. This way one avoids the tragedy of leaving one's card in one's other pants, assuming one wore more than one pair.

Well, today was the day for me... yesterday I bought my ninth coffee and today, I skipped merrily toward Hilltop Coffee Shop, not a care in the world except what kind of coffee I would get and would the cute girl be working there. Imagine my surprise, my horror, my sadness, when I arrived and I couldn't find my little coffee card! I always keep it in the same place (at the very end of the 'M's, inexplicably), so the only conclusion I can reach is that I was robbed of my free coffee! Do the local police handle things like this or should I go directly to the FBI?

Geez That's Creepy

All of my information, available for sale.

Good Times

I was just looking at my "journal" from my trip to Europe (a year ago). I was trying to figure out if a particular picture of me was taken exactly one year ago. Turns out it wasn't. But I enjoyed reading my so-called journal; I had forgotten a lot of things that I'm glad I wrote down! For your enjoyment[?], here's a pic from 366 days ago:


(I should post a picture every day of what happened a year ago!)

Crazy!

The Yankee Hotel Foxtrot LP I just bought... some of the songs... are longer! Very exciting! And unexpected!

Hola, Tocadisco!

After quite a while, today I finally got the record player that I bought on eBay many months ago working. Now I'm working my way through my dad's Bob Dylan records. They're an especially scratchy bunch; most of them were second-hand when he got them, he says. And I keep wanting to just press fast-forward to skip songs.

Huh?

Awesome!

I saw Spiderman 2 last night. A fine movie, to be sure. And I would have seen it earlier (say, opening night) had I known that Michael Chabon wrote it (or helped a great deal, at any rate). There are sequences that seem to definitely reference Steranko, one of Michael Chabon's influences when writing Kavalier & Clay.

Ah, These Young Turks

On this project I'm working on now, I'm the oldest member of the development team. Which is fine. But these young guys with their crazy ideas, they can't seem to focus and do what needs to get done. "I have a crazy idea that doesn't help anybody!" "Let's change everything arbitrarily to lowercase!" "I'm going to a rave, I'm mad fresh, and I'm in love with Avril Levigne!" (Okay, maybe just the first two; but you know how the young kids talk!)

A Nice Place To Visit, But...

I was just at court, here in Portland. Jane had some license-related issues (I'll keep the exact nature of them a discreet mystery) so we went to the courthouse to see what was up. It was either go to court, or a warrant would be issued for her arrest.

It was a very interesting morning, even though I had a terrible coffee-related head issue (again, the exact nature shall remain mysterious). After viewing a 15-minute video from a judge informing us (well, not ME!) of our rights, the judge proceeded to hear arraignments.

Most were similar in nature to Jane's, and all were misdemeanors at most. But there were some intense cases: one about guns, several about restraining orders/domestic abuse. I missed the beginning of one arraignment where a young woman was being brought up on charges of stealing lingerie from Filene's (goodbye, text ads about golf; hello, text ads about bras!). All in all, good times. And Jane gets to go back and plead her case next month! That's when the real legal fireworks will shine!

Hurray for Weather!

I live in the foggiest place ever. Know how I know? Because I can hear foghorns! I enjoy a nice rainy day.

Hi-Larious!

The Amazon.com Knee-Jerk Contrarian Game!

AKA, people are dumb and/or funny!

Not Today!

Today, I accomplished absolutely nothing. I don't think there are too many days where I can legitimately say that; I almost always do some work, or run some errands. But today was a day of rest for me after a very hectic (and fun!) weekend. I am about to head out to pick up some pizza, and I did return Pat's cell phone to him earlier. So I guess it wasn't a complete wash of a day. Let's not forget the multiple naps (three at last count, but the night, as they say, is young!).

It's Sacrilege to Look at This This Early In The Season, Right?

Wild Card Standings.

(Only two and a half games back!)

Still Pretty Drunk, But....

It was fun to have a party at my apartment! The fireworks were a good excuse to have people over, but I should have more parties over here.

And I've Seen Crazyzoos!

Portland turns into a crazy nuthouse whenever there's an event! The fireworks are in, oh, seven hours, and it's already insane by my house. The good part is that now I can get fried dough and I only have to walk about a hundred yards. The bad part is that everyone is psycho.

Whoa!

Check out Nicholson Baker's new book!
Tagline: "This Time, It's Not About Escalators"

or

"Let's Discuss Ending George W. Bush's Hypothetical Internal Monologue... Forever!"

or

"Forget the Shoelaces... Time for Some Real [Mental] Firepower!"

Wedding Thoughts

I just got back from Cedar & Dan's wedding. It was a great time! They both looked amazing, the ceremony itself was just perfect, and the event was, all in all, lovely. It's amazing how natural it felt: as if the wedding was a natural part of their relationship. I don't think weddings always feel that way; Cedar and Dan both seemed very relaxed, yet aware.

I had a great time talking with friends from Hamp and elsewhere (CogniSucks, etc.). This may be a selfish thing, but I was happy to notice that I still have the ability to make smart people -- people I respect -- laugh. Sometimes it's just good to be reassured that I still have a recognizable sense of humor! Anyway, congratulations again to Cedar and Dan.

Funniest moment: Dan's mom, who mistakenly thought she had already met me, saying that I had a weird accent.

Now the next wedding is this September: my sister's. I'm worried that Elizabeth needs to do much more planning and put much more thought into it. I'm also worried that she won't come to the same decisions that have made the two weddings I've seen and enjoyed (this one and Noah/Jess) so beautiful and enjoyable. i.e., does she really need to have bridesmaids? Does my dad really need to walk her down the aisle? Etc. I'm not in favor of tradition for tradition's sake; Cedar/Dan and Noah/Jess all did a great job of keeping the traditions that are meaningful to them, amplifying the aspects that are important and eliminating or altering the aspects that are dumb. I'm sure as the time approaches, Liddy will winnow it down and focus, but, so far, not so much.

Dude, Where's My Xanax?

Well, I'm off to Cedar & Dan's wedding! It looks like it'll be a great day for a wedding (not such a good day for a long drive in an un-air-conditioned car, but what are you gonna do?)

THE BOOT!

WARNING!
You have 3 or more unpaid tickets over 10 days old. Your vehicle is subject to being booted or towed. We recommend that you pay all your tickets. If you recently received a parking ticket it will not appear in this system for 2 business days from the date of the ticket.

Welcome Back, Car!

My car has been in the shop since Monday. It needed some new brake rotors and calipers, and a new timing belt, and some electrical things, and there were some leaks somewhere. My Volvo guy is, I think, the prototypical Volvo guy: he's really friendly, but really arcane at the same time. He remembered me from the fall when I was there, but he was also kind of vague. Both times his estimate has been more than the final bill! I have absolutely no complaints, and if there are any European car owners in the area reading this, check out Swedish Performance (now in South Portland!)

So, thanks to Sarah, I picked it up this afternoon and I just got back: it turns out I had about a week's worth of errands to run... I got clothes for the big wedding, some food for the big party. The only thing I forgot was to get some food at the big (ha!) Taco Bell.

Tomorrow: I take my car in somewhere else to get the air conditioning recharged. Here's hoping the car actually has air conditioning.

Gross!

A bird just pooped on my arm! (And from a height, too... this is no parrot attack!)